I am still not free from this curse, God has not answered this prayer of mine.

He's answered my prayers before, so why not this one?

This horrible thing that I cannot control despite my best efforts, this sinful thing.

I really do give up, 8 years of tears I cannot do anything about it, God wont even do anything about it even though it hurts him as it does me.

I tried, I really really really did.

Despite this I wont worry, I'll do my best not to, but there will always be a shadow of shame following me as long this corrupted part of me exists.